can u get pink eye on your cock?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
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I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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