he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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