bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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