bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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