im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
