wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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