Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
