Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
