Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
