I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
