he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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