Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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