We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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