I'm so fucking centered right now
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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