Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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