I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Come on in and take your pants off
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