He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
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ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
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It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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