1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize