awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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