hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
