Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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