Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
