Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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