I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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