You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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