I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
