party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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