last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
