An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
