the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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