Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
