its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
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Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
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Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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