I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize