I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
