Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
