Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
