I feel like I'm in dance class right now
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
