4 words: hood of his car
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
