im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
