just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just invented taco cereal.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
