This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
