yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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