Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
