another moral hangover. fuck.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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