We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
