Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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