After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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