Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
