There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
