I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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