I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
