Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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