you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize