Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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