you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
