Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
