Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
