he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The Olympian is in my bed
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize